i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize