What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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