I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ttyl tear gas
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
