The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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