You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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