Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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