Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
