This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
babies were throwing up all over the place
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I look better un-naked...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
