She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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