Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
