as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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