Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize