Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize