I heard we made out
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
