Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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