And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
