Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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