I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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