I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
