You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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