What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
