omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
