Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
