My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
try to milk me bitch
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