So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
