My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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