I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
