Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
