you win again, gameday.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
