I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
