Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
