Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
