if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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