but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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