At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.