I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??