So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.