real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life