I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.