what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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