butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Randomize
