You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
