You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
