We need to rekindle our bromance
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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