Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize