i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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