we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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