I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
