So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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