Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
