I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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