Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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