my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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