she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
where are my eyebrows?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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