he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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