You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have post one night stand depression
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