I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
