That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
