In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize