it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
