okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize