I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I didn't notice because vodka
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
