yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
